he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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