I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
