At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
