Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
