we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
