Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
