i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
