is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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