oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
