I'm lost and stupid without you.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
