this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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