let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
