I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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