Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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