I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
