He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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