I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
