hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize