forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
