dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
