he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
