So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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