I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
