Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
