how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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