So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
