Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize