Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
