You smell like stripper and shame
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
