If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize