I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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