I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize