I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
