i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
