Just fell off a train. Bad.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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