I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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