The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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