We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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