last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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