so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
