smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
