Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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