I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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