Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
