Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
