garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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