I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
