But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
