God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
