Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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