It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
