i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my shit smells like andre
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
