he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
