Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
