So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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