I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize