im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
