Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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