The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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