apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize