i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
